{"id":1666,"date":"2024-03-13T21:33:36","date_gmt":"2024-03-14T02:33:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/?p=1666"},"modified":"2024-03-13T21:33:38","modified_gmt":"2024-03-14T02:33:38","slug":"we-cant-legislate-love-but","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/2024\/03\/13\/we-cant-legislate-love-but\/","title":{"rendered":"We can’t Legislate Love But…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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I was Ontario\u2019s Child Advocate from 2008 to 2019.  Prior to this I worked with young people in and from care of our child protection system for over 25 years.  I carry so many stories from children and youth I have met.  These stories are like apples on a tree of knowledge.  I can pick from that tree.  The stories not only inform me they sustain me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the Child Advocate I had the opportunity to translate into English the memoir of a 92 year old man named Shlomo Nadel who wrote an account of his childhood in Warsaw, Poland living in an orphanage founded and run by a Dr Janus Korczak.  I wanted to translate his memoir because I wanted to show that it was possible to operate residential care with integrity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now forgive me for being that old guy who has to layer his stories with detail.  I fear that this affliction is actually a form of mansplaining but I want make sure the reader knows who Janusz Korczak was.   I knew only tangentially  until I met Shlomo. Dr Korczak was a Polish pediatrician.  In the early 1920\u2019s to 1940\u2019s he ran a number of orphanages across his country.  He was renowned for his child centred philosophy and his commitment to children who he saw as \u201cpeople today not people tomorrow\u201d.  Korczak is known as the \u201cFather of children\u2019s rights\u201d.   The children of his orphanages produced a national newsletter popular in many parts of. Europe and the good Doctor had his own weekly national radio show.  If you have heard of Janusz Korscak its likely you are familiar with the story of his orphanages in Warsaw being gated within the Ghetto under Nazi occupation. When the Nazis liquidated the Ghetto, Dr Korszak, due to his legacy was offered freedom and life.  He refused the offer, instead marching with \u201chis children\u201d through the streets of the Ghetto to the train station where they all were loaded in cattle cars to Treblinka.  He died in the gas chambers of the camp standing beside the children he served.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now Shlomo certainly remembered everything about his time in Korczak\u2019s orphanage.  He remembered the Bill of Rights written by Korczak with children.  He remembered how  children who lived in the orphanage were afforded those rights.  He remembered the children led \u201ccourt\u201d where staff and residents of the orphanage could bring complaints. Shlomo remembered Korczak finding a way to support Shlomo\u2019s early interest in photography.  Shlomo credits his career as a photographer to Korczak and he unequivocally believes he is indebted to Korczak for his life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shlomo said that there was one memory that stood out.  He told about the large room in the orphanage where children would sleep.  The reader might imagine a room in an orphanage, row upon row of cots, set beside each other.  Shlomo remembered that on the occasional night, once all the children had gone to bed and were fast asleep, Korczak would go out into the Ghetto on a mission. Korzcak would visit the bakeries that existed.  \u201cSweets\u201d, said Shlomo, \u201cin the Ghetto as you can imagine were hard to come by and a great treasure\u201d.  Somehow Korczak would find some.  Shlomo recounted ,  \u201cIn the middle of the night Dr Korczak would come back to the orphanage and while we were sound asleep Korczak would place a small piece of cake on the corner of our cots.  We would savour that piece of cake when we awoke in the morning\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With tears welling in his eyes, his voice cracking, this now 92 year old Shlomo said \u201cYou know that cake.  It tasted like love\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I reflect upon Shlomo every time I think about the need for transformational change in the manner in which, we , through our governments construct and deliver service of any kind to children and their families.  Shlomo\u2019s simple but complex message about the importance of \u201clove\u2019, \u201cbelonging\u201d, \u201crespect\u201d, choose a word that works for you, is echoed by young person upon young person marginalized from their rights any time they are asked.  Our child protection system, justice system, disability support system, health system work in a manner that tears  at the provision of \u201clove\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember trying to explain this to a Deputy Minister once.  Im sure he rolled his eyes and in exasperation he said \u201cWhat in heavens do you want me to do with that! We cant legislate love!\u201d  After the meeting I returned to my office.  I sat with a group of youth and told them what the Deputy had said.  I can still hear the young woman who told me \u201cThe Deputy is right of course. But Irwin why don\u2019t you tell him \u2013 Its true you cant legislate love but you can legislate the conditions in which love can flourish\u201d. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inspired by Shlomo and the thousands of young people I have met over the decades, these days I\u2019m thinking about the Deputy Minister\u2019s challenge and the young person\u2019s response.  If we wanted to ensure that every child had what they needed when they needed it in order to thrive – If we wanted every family regardless of how that family is constructed ( biological family, kin family, adopted family, foster family, chosen family) to have what it needed to do right by their children-If we wanted every child to be safe \u2013 if we wanted every child to feel love and belonging \u2013 then what would a system look like that delivered these possibilities.  If we allowed ourselves to dream and imagined starting with nothing in place what would this system look like.  I invite you to dream with me.  In the coming months with courageous partners like Stepstones for Youth we will create a process where we can create together.  Yes we require transformational change.  Yes we need to understand what we wish transformational change will lead us towards.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a call to action. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will paraphrase Indigenous writer Thomas King who wrote in a book of short stories.  You can do what you wish with these stories.  You can make a petition. You can tell a friend.  You can make a film or make a posting.  You can ignore the stories. But you can never live your life again as if you have never heard the stories.  You have heard them now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And finally let me quote my late Mother who said to me \u201cit is not your responsibility to change the world.  However remember you are not exempt from trying\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was Ontario\u2019s Child Advocate from 2008 to 2019.  Prior to this I worked with young people in and from care of our child protection system for over 25 years.  I carry so many stories from children and youth I have met.  These stories are like apples on a tree of knowledge.  I can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1666","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1666","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1666"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1666\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1668,"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1666\/revisions\/1668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1666"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1666"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theelman.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1666"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}