Dear Premier;
Dear Premier;
I know you are busy. I know you are stressed. I think that we are in such difficult times and governments are dealing with these circumstances as best as they think they can. I ask you though to take a moment and reflect.
Imagine you had a child who was living away from home on their own. Your child was 21 years old. You had been supporting them every month with a small cheque for rent and food in order for them to be able to go to school. You were there for them. Then the pandemic hit. What you decided to do was tell your child there would be no more cheques. Further you would say âhere is a number to call at social assistance. You are not ever able to call me again.â Imagine that. You canât imagine that I bet.
Premier that is exactly what you are doing. Right now. Today. As you know no child comes into your care as Premier through the child protection system for something they have done. You Premier through your child protection system ,with courts ,you have decided that these children are in need of protection. You have taken them from their families. You know the kinds of things that the children were dealing with that made you make the decision. You ,Premier have promised to care and support these children. The children may have even expected love from you. You are aware Premier that you have not been a very good parent to them. Moving them from home to home to home. Not always present. Hardly listening. You have promised to be a better parent. Those who had custody of your children in your role before you made promises. Empty promises. You have done the same. You Premier are all these children had so they survive. At least most have survived. You have always told them that you would provide them a meagre cheque to use to live on their own when they are 18 years of age and that they could contact you if they need something. It didnât matter if they were ready or not to live on their own. You then told them that, no matter what , this cheque and those calls answered for support would vanish in their emerging adulthood. Your children told you âbut it feels like we are being pushed off the edge of a cliff alone. Aloneâ. Premier you acted as if it was the way it had to be.
Today Premier you and your children live in a veritable maelstrom caused by the Covid 19 Pandemic and our public health response to it. Community centres are closed. Mental health services stretched thin. Landlords thinking about evictions. Even places of worship unavailable. All of us, including you Premier worrying about our personal well being and the well being of those we love. Except Premier you continue to tell your children who have depended upon you ,who you know are struggling, that you will not give them money to pay for their rent and food. You tell them not to call home. You tell them as you push them out the door into the abys of this pandemic crisis that you are making a plan. Maybe you are Premier but time is wasting and you are still sending your kids away when you should be holding them close
Wouldnât it be better Premier if you said right now, today, to your children âI care about you. I would like you to stay connected with me if you want to. I will continue to be there for you. Weâve got this. I am planning to do betterâ Wouldnât that be better Premier ? Isnât it time you were a better parent Premier?
I know your children well. I can promise you that even uttering those words publicly and immediately would be an emotional salve and a powerful source of emotional assurance. You can do this Premier and donât forget your younger children are watching what you do. Every act you take is a message to them. Do the right thing Premier.
End the aging out of children in care during this pandemic and post pandemic as your Province recovers. Show your children you care.
Sincerely,
Irwin Elman
Global Advisor, Until The Last Child, Special Advisor laidlaw Foundation, Former Provincial Advocate for Children and Youth Ontario